Movie Synopsis
Chili Palmer (John Travolta) a former Miami mobster turned famous movie producer has decided he wants out of the movie business and sets his sights on the music industry. While talking to Tommy Athens (James Woods) about this switch he witnesses the Russian mafia kill Tommy (I don't think they ever explain why, let's assume some debts unpaid). This leaves Tommy's failing music label NTL Records in the hands of the freshly widowed Edie Athens (Uma Thurman). Meanwhile Chili learned from Tommy, before his death, about this up and coming star named Linda Moon (Christina Milian). Chili goes to check her out at a janky club and is blown away by her. There is just one problem, she is under contract with Nick Carr (Harvey Keitel) and Raji (Vince Vaughn). Chili has a little bit of an disagreement with Raji over the details of Linda Moon's contract and Elliot Wilhelm, Raji's bodyguard (Dwayne Johnson) tries to set him straight. It doesn't go as planned and Linda walks off with her new manager Chili Palmer. Chili and Edie hook up and are impressed by Linda's talent but they both learn that Tommy wasn't very good at handling the books for NTL Records. Turns out the business is failing and they owe $300,000 to hip-hop producer Sin LaSalle (Cedric The Entertainer). He is not happy at all about their late payment and threatens to kill Chili and Edie, with Dabu's (Andre 3000) "help" if they can't come up with the money. Nick Carr and Raji put a hit on Chili for trying to take their client, and the Russian mob are after Chili for witnessing the murder of Tommy. Chili and Edie outsmart both of them with some clever uses of picking up items at a pawn shop the Russians own and get them both arrested. After Linda Moon kills it on stage with Steven Tyler (Aerosmith) Chili convinces Sin LaSalle instead of paying 300K how about he gets producer credit on the soon to be pop star Linda Moon. With a homage to pulp fiction, some clueless cops getting to Nick and the Russians, and Elliot turning on Raji to become the acting star he wanted to be Chili gets everything he dreamed of. Linda Moon becomes a budding star at NTL Records, and the business is now out the red and into the black, thriving with their new pop star.
The Rock Rating: 6.5/10
Dwayne Johnson is technically "starring" in this film according to wiki, but he isn't in a whole lot of this movie. He plays a very different role than his previous 4 major films as a gay bodyguard who wants to make it to the silver screen. He reminds me of Dane Cook's impression of a girl at a club "I just wanna dance" except instead of dancing he just wants to act. It seems like he exists to be the butt of Raji's homophobic jokes. I do get that this entire movie is a parody on the music industry, and so they dashed in some parody on how gay people are supposed to act, but watching this now I thought to myself yeah this probably wouldn't fly in 2020. Having said all that it was fun to see Dwayne Johnson play a completely different character. Instead of the badass tough guy he gets to be the pretend tough guy who is really a giant softie. His cool trick that will vault him to future stardom is the "People's eyebrow", and they use it as a running gag throughout the movie. He also gets a funny scene of doing a monologue of the movie Bring it On, but outside of that he isn't given a whole lot to do. Unfortunately, the director didn't really have a role for him outside of pointing out that "gay people aren't tough". Dwayne does get to show off his comedic talent in this one, but an actor can only work with what he is given. Sorry Dwayne, this one isn't kind to you, but I blame the movie not you. 6.5/10.
Can You Smell What The Rock Is Cooking Scene of the Movie
Since Dwayne Johnson doesn't play a huge role in this movie we had less to choose from. There are three scenes where Dwayne Johnson stands out so I get to choose between:
He has a lot more definition if the size is still pretty similar. At some point in THE ROCKATHON I will show another before and after and you will be like holy shit he's a beast. Anyway this is a section about the scene of the movie not Dwayne Johnson workout regiment. So I decided to go with his Bring It On monologue as the scene of the movie. Have fun watching Dwayne Johnson turn into two teenage girls who desperately want to win nationals for cheerleading.
His snaps, his head bob, his little hesitation trying to piece together John Travolta's advice, and of course the eyebrow raise. Good stuff here. And...scene.
Overall Movie Rating: 4/10
I will caveat this entire movie rating by saying I have not seen Get Shorty, the first movie in this. I have not read Elmore Leonard's books that these movies are based off of. So you are getting a total outsider's perspective to this movie. With that said...this movie is a mess. John Travolta who plays Chili Palmer appears to be sleepwalking through this. The Uma Travolta reunion from pulp fiction doesn't work, and the most of the jokes fell flat for me. Not to mention the plot is a little wonky as well. The only character that sometimes work is Raji (Vince Vaughn) who oscillated from "so stupid its actually funny" to borderline offensive. I get that this is supposed to be a parody on gangsta rap, the music industry, and crime films but none of that really works here. Dabu (Andre 3000) has some pretty funny moments as the wannabe gangster, but they waste Cedric The Entertainer in this one (except when he beats a guy with a spatula). The black and gay jokes throughout this movie don't land the same way they might have for a 2005 audience vs a 2020 audience. This movie is a hard pass, and I would not recommend using 120 minutes of your time to watch this film. I do think Dwayne is legit funny in this and it shows a very different side to Dwayne Johnson based on his previous movies. I get why he took the role. At the time Hollywood wouldn't know that Dwayne Johnson has real comedy in his arsenal so getting to play a gay parody of his previous characters makes sense. Unfortunately the movie isn't good so it gets lost in the shuffle. 4/10.
Knockout Pushup Count: 1
We have one glorious knockout. It is an accidental knockout, but seeing Vince Vaughn get lit on fire is good enough for me to count it. And since there is only one, I can show it to you too. See below to see an argument spill over to fireworks exploding. 1 pushup. I felt cheated with only 1 pushup, so I did it one handed to up the difficulty.
Fun Notes
Alright so a little bit of background on the movie along with some inner commentary.
That's all folks, Next up is Doom. I am excited for that one! Oh also while I was searching for an instagram photo to post I found a fun gif. I wanted to make it my for my post but not sure if you can post gifs onto insta. So I put it here for fun. Signing off.
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AuthorBrian here. Watching every single Dwayne Johnson movie and posting my thoughts and rankings! Make a comment if you like! Archives |